Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Deep Thoughts on Internet Envy






Over the last couple of years, I've seen quite a few articles that warn against Facebook because it will cause depression.  The argument is that everyone posts about the happy things in their lives, and none of the sad things, so we all have a skewed perception of others, and then get sad about ourselves.  Like "All my FB friends have awesome jobs/cars/relationships/vacations, and my life is terrible!!"  This may be true, but it always bothers me for a couple of reasons:

First, if you aren't happy with your life, will it really help to know your friends/acquaintances/strangers on the internet are also miserable?  I think that would just make me more depressed.  Also, it's never wise to base your contentment on what other people appear to have, whether being envious of them, or thinking at least you are better off than them.  

Second, you SHOULD NOT BE INTERNET FRIENDS WITH PEOPLE IF YOU CAN'T BE HAPPY FOR THEM WHEN GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO THEM!  Sorry to get shouty, but seriously.  If I'm scrolling through Facebook and see that someone I'm "friends" with went on an awesome vacation, and my first thought is "ugh, why do they get to spend 3 weeks in Europe?!"  then it probably means I don't actually like this person.  Un-friend immediately!  Or at the very least, hide them from your news-feed.

Also, how is this different than in real life?  If I ask one of my co-workers how they are doing, they always say "good!" and unless we are pretty close, that's all I know.  Isn't it just common sense to know that you are getting a tiny glimpse of anyone's life by your interactions with them, whether online or IRL? 

And finally, I don't know about you, but I have plenty of friends on my various social media sites that are pretty open about the good and the bad things in life.  Is this just because I have un-friended all the annoyingly braggy folks?  Maybe. 

I'm not sure what my point is here, but I just wanted to throw those thoughts out there.  And look, I may have a cute dalmatian-print* belt, but look how wrinkly my skirt is.  Just keeping it real!  

*No Dalmatians were harmed in the making of this belt.  I actually don't know that, but I assume/hope.  I really don't want to be Cruella De Vil!  

Top: H&M
Skirt: J.Crew Factory
Belt: Limited
Shoes: BCBGeneration

7 comments:

  1. That's the weird thing about social media. A lot of people can post only what they want to tell you. Nobody has it all and life isn't perfect. I agree that if someone goes on a vacation or has something good happen to them, you should be happy for them. Like a lot of blogs sometimes I see all these pretty clothes and jewelry but don't know much else about the person. I like blogs that give glimpses into the "real" person. I like seeing people's kids or pets or whatever. Sorry rambling...

    The dalmation belt is adorable and I love the layered lace!

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  2. I agree, we are so much more likely to only share the good stuff on line, which is definitely not authentic, I think over sharing is just a bad though. I think there's a fine line between being authentic and over sharing or not sharing enough.

    I do love your belt today, super cute!
    Ginny

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  3. Amen. I have de-friended so many people for two reasons. 1) If we go four years without correspondence, chances are we aren't really friends. 2) A lot of people I know are spoiled ass brats. IE going to Europe every summer because Mommy and Daddy are paying for it. Ain't no one got time for those people. I think somethings bloggers fall under the same trap: only trying to choose the best photos, hide any and every unflattering part about them. Blah. Who cares?!

    Anywhoo, every time you wear your lace top, I realize I need to stop neglecting my lace top. This time I mean it. haha

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  4. I agree! If you aren't happy with your life you need to fix it and knowing that others are miserable will not help one bit. I really try to focus on the positive of everything in my life. I love the addition of your belt to this outfit, how cute!

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  5. Ugh you are so right! I get what those researchers are saying, I guess maybe subconsciously that could happen. But you are right, if you can't be happy for them, stop following them. And actually those people who ONLY whine and complain get me down! So I unfriend or stop following them.
    Cute outfit! I never feel bad about a wrinkly skirt. The only way it wouldn't wrinkle would be to stand in one place all day, and that obviously is not real life.

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  6. Ugh you are so right! I get what those researchers are saying, I guess maybe subconsciously that could happen. But you are right, if you can't be happy for them, stop following them. And actually those people who ONLY whine and complain get me down! So I unfriend or stop following them.
    Cute outfit! I never feel bad about a wrinkly skirt. The only way it wouldn't wrinkle would be to stand in one place all day, and that obviously is not real life.

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  7. I've given this very topic a lot of thought. Ginny said pretty much what I was going to say.

    I'm just going to leave this here in case you haven't seen it yet: http://www.waitbutwhy.com/2013/09/why-generation-y-yuppies-are-unhappy.html

    If you don't want to read the whole thing, just scroll down to GYPSYs Are Taunted, it talks about this very phenomenon.

    On a lighter note, that skirt is really pretty, wrinkles or no wrinkles!

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